Birthday Sess... Or Everyday Sex

Damn, I'm bored.

Someone needs to bother me or something so I'll have something to rant about.

I mean, me and Travis went to get some guitar strings and then we hung out at B&N a little bit and I met ANOTHER hot guy cuz I'm on FIYAH and we watched a load ass of porn and shit...

One thing led to another aaaand.... WOW!

Well.

But now I'm damn well bored and smoking this traitor's hookah and well... I think I will abandon it and go drink because drinking is what makes me happy.

Then I'll drive my little car.

Kids, don't try this at home unless your parents aren't there. ;D

God, I'm becoming an alcoholic.  I always had kind of a high tolerance but.... this is fuckin amazing what I've come up with now. When I'm NOT drinking, I'm irritable!

WTF, vodka?

How you gonna betray me like that?

Go here --> www.fakku.net

It's VERY nsfw, so don't let your mom catch you, baby.

I guess that's all I have for right now... I might come back and blog more when I'm buzzed, so watch out.

Man I Blog This Shit Way Too Much

Hey.

Drunk again, because I have a PROBREM that no one, least of all me, wants to address.

I know I wrote 'probrem' so SHUTTUP you goddamn prestupnik.

Don't talk to me!

Don't talk to me, criminal!

Heehee. Transformers. Always a good decision.

I wanna go to sleep but my bed is so cold. And lonely. And devoid of emotion. And prolly full of bed bugs because it's a dorm bed and you know how that is.

Ugh. Foreign Individual Sex Juice.

On MY bed, no less!! As if they knew I would be coming in next to be thoroughly disgusted by it! By the thought of it!

Ugh. Truly horrific.

I had a goddamn time opening that can of Skettios without a can opener, though. Like, the top's all bent up and in like a star shape....

My room mate's name is Alistair.

What a cool fucking name.

Well, that top could hurt somebody, namely me. Boy, I'll be so mad if that shit even touches me, man, I'll fling that shit right off the balcony.

Kill some sad motherfucker with a poorly opened can of Spaghettios.

Spaghettios: The Siwent Kiwwah.

Heh heh heh speech impediments.

I never had one. I don't think any of the girls I knew did. All the boys did, tho, but I thought they were from oft, so I didn't think it was weird.

You know that chili from Wendy's? Ok, man, they have this like hot sauce stuff specifically for the chili and it is God's Prophet to the Sauce Community.

That's how good it tastes. Mmmmmmm! That shit's so good!

What the hell is it?! Man, I don't know, but I would hate to live without it.

Damn stuff has crack cocaine in it, I bet. That's why I keep wanting it all the damn time. It might be. actually, because I has no money and I want EVERYTHING all the damn time when I has no monies.

Well I'm going to go to sleep nao.

Byeeeeeeee! ^-^

Maybe You've Never Seen Me Ride a Bike Drunk...

...But it's funny and I give it two thumbs WAY, WAY UP!

I'm getting drunk right now.

Not too drunk, mind you, but nice and..... how you say.... tipsing?

Yes, tipsing. I'm am getting to there.

Sooooo..... you know what that means: BEST BLOG EVAAAH!!!!

"How many followers do you have?"

"Um... one...?"

"Then it's not teh best blog "evaaah", is it?"

HEY ASSHOLE, GIVE THIS A TINK: IT'S NOT THE QUANTITY IT'S THE GODDAMN QUALITY SO GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A RAILROAD TIE!!!

AND SHUT UP!!!

Very peaceful. I am a girl of extreme peace, really, characterized best by the unrelenting moderation that rules my life. No need to go overboard, that's my motto.

By the way, to all you grimacers out there: grimacing does not make the alcohol taste less bad or go down easier. It just makes you look like you're in pain.

Ah! The firewater! It burns! The white man, in all his shrewd cunning, has fooled us yet again! We shall empty this firewater to the earth and never speak of it or taste nor have anything to do with it again! It is dead to us!

FIREWATER SHALL NEVER TOUCH THE LIPS OF A CHILD-OF-THE-EARTH EVER AGAIN.

..............

Well, that went well. Way to go, Indians. Way to do it right.

You know, in the Indian Food Pyramid, as designated by the American Indian Food and Drug Association for True Originators (Not the White Man, Dammit), Firewater (ethyl alcohol) is at the very base, the core, if you will, of the diet. 

Followed by maize. 

Followed by gambling.

The AIFDATO(NWMD) does, however, recommend that one limit one's intake of sweets, due to the abysmal dental care afforded to residents of reservations, where ALL Indians must live, 100% of the time, no excuses.

Red Bull and vodka together are terrible. It was the only thing I had, tho. I normally don't drink vodka by itself unless I'm already shitfaced anyway or I feel like being shitfaced or maybe I just like the taste of vodka.

I like Stoli. It burns so good.

Grey Goose is better, so smooth.

Jewel of Russia is a bitch to get a hold of, but when you can, it's far and away the best. Everyone says Putinka, I say it tastes like Fascism.

You like to drink Fascism?

Me neither.

My back hurts and I am miserable, but I only know it when I'm drunk.

I cut myself on the face. It gives me a satisfaction that's not sexual or control-related.

It is grounding, I guess.

Eat a ham, bastards.