Hate-filled Steak

You know, there was a time once where an individual pressured me into going over to take some fresh baked cookies over to a friend's house.

This "friend" was some girl that I did not know and had no intention of getting to know.

The individual that I was with was very excited. He was unsubtly trying to use my presence to get her interested in him, enough to go on a date.

That's great, all good, except that I was currently this individual's girlfriend.

She was not there.

I haven't forgotten that moment of blatant, unrefined manipulation. It was clumsy and poorly staged, to say the least, starting with the this would mean a lot to me if you'd come with me routine, which I don't care about.

I've been manipulated by the best all my life and I hardly think an amateur has the skill required to achieve the desired effect.

I was filled with a cruel, sarcastic satisfaction when she did not have any interest at all in him, and he eventually humiliated himself trying to ingratiate himself to her.

It was extremely amusing to me, although I'm worried as to why.

Why is that how I feel when people, even ones that I love, try to cross me?

I'm not even sure how a normal girl would have reacted to this.

I don't understand how to make a relationship work. This individual also doesn't understand, I know, but he thinks he does, and I think that's much worse.

He's very confident in his relationship skillz.

Whatever.

Why, though, why? It's not natural and sometimes it feels so wrong.... but I can't do anything but be cruel. It's amusing.

But I was hurt, too, and no one seemed to get it. Why are you taking me? Why do I have to watch you cheat on me? It's not enough that I know you do it, now I have to watch it? What the fuck am I to you, nothing? Worthy of no respect? Of no human decency and courtesy? 

I was crushed and hurt and confused and it manifested as anger and cruelty and hatred.

In any case, the girl was deported, for which I had the last laugh, and now I'm making something of myself while she is drowning in poverty and probably a venereal disease.

I feel so much better nao!