I drank over two pintos of vodka last night (meaning now).

Don't lknow how much that is bcuz im still drunk (as its still last night).

i hate you jara.

you ruined me.

i hope someone does to you what you did to me. it'll be subtle. fucking look for it.

hahaha... lol but not lol. lol for your benefit, but i dont feel like laffin...

hmm.

I hate Everything.

You know what?

Like.... No one reads my blog.

I think this is because I have nothing to say. Or perhaps I am mean. Or perhaps all I talk about sensibly is serial killers and their goings-on.

Well, good news!

That's not about to change.

Listen, Tehran-- I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF YOU'RE RIOTING. STFU!

And hey, New York-- NO ONE LOVES YOU. LEAST OF ALL ME. STFU! (WITH YOUR SHIRTS!)

And oh, wait, Savannah, Georgia? YOU ARE THE MOST AWFUL TOWN I'VE EVER LIVED IN. PLEASE DO US ALL A FAVOR AND ERADICATE YOUR HOMELESS PEOPLE. I HATE TO LOOK AT THEM OR HAVE TO INTERACT WITH THEM. THEY ARE PUTRID AND YOU ARE THE RETARDED, POINTLESS SISTER OF CHARLESTON. PLEASE DIE.

Kinkajous want some? PLEASE DIE.

Alcoholics Anonymous wants some? GO TO HELL YOU SPINELESS BASTARDS.

KOSS headphones company? WHY DON'T YOU ANSWER YOUR GODDAMN PHONES, YOU FUCKING MORONS?!?!

Professor Mosch? I HATE PAINTING. LET ME DRAW, WOMAN!!!

My stupid sister? GET MARRIED ALREADY, YOU STUPID SLAG!!!! I AM TIRED OF WAITING TO UPSTAGE YOU AT YOUR WEDDING!! THERE MUST BE BOATS.

Homeless people? FUCKING DIE. OR GET A JOB.

The company that makes Столичная? GIVE ME FREE VODKA. WILL DRINK FOR FREE.

Red Bull? STFU!

That new tooth in the back of my mouth? STFU!

Omg I want to box something right now. I have no money. I have no patience. I have a ton of work to do and not enough time to do it. Whatever. Don't read. I hate you anyways.

But not if you're reading this. Then I like you.

^-^

♥♡♥

I Dislike Them.

I hate asians.

I hate looking at them in porn.

I hate the way they sound when they try to speak English.

I hate the way everyone worships their food.

I hate how they dress.

I hate their flat faces with their somehow-puffy cheeks.

I hate their obsession with small feet.

I hate it when they emblazon their pigeon-English onto awkwardly manufactured shirts.

I hate that I can't go on the FoodNetwork website without an entire section cordoned off for the making of their seafood-rich foods.

I hate that they eat seafood for breakfast.

I hate that besides all these good reasons, they are so damn marketable.

I love their anime and manga, though.

w00t.

New York, Stay in the Damn North

I hate those stupid "I ♥ NY" shirts that everyone thinks are cool.

Yesterday (or whenever that horrible shopping trip was), at the mall, I saw FIVE DIFFERENT PEOPLE with those shirts on and I'm thinking, "Hey, ass, are you in New York?! THEN TAKE THE FUCKING SHIRT OFF!!!"

I really want to slap people with these shirts, but the final straw comes when one shows up on a Japanese girl in MY manga that I love to read.

THE JAPANESE DO NOT LOVE NEW YORK!!!

IN FACT, NOBODY LOVES YOU, NEW YORK!!! HOW ABOUT THAT?!?!

OOO HERE'S AN IDEA- HOW ABOUT I INUNDATE NEW YORK CITY WITH MY BIG-BREASTED, SMILEY, CHEERFUL AND HIGHLY INTELLIGENT GANG OF GIRLS WEARING THE EVER POPULAR "I ♥ THE SOUTH CUZ IT'S SUPERIOR IN EVERY CONCEIVABLE WAY TO THE NORTH" SHIRTS?!?!?!

(A shirt of my own design, by the way.)

Omg, I'm shivering just to THINK of the possibilities of ruining the already ruinous cavity that is New York.

Keep your name and your chlamydia-infested lovers out of the South, New Fucking York.

Loco Pollo Off the Wall MADNESS

OH MY GOD I'M SO BORED.

Everyone else is doing something great, but I'M stuck here being a fatty and HATING IT and having no one to talk to, besides.

Plus, there's no good porn out, which is EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING because I'm outta ideas on my own and I need a new fantasy to work with. I'm so bored with MY fantasies that I don't even think about them during... you know. THAT.

>_O

YOU DON'T JUDGE ME. I'M HERE BY MYSELF. I HAVE NO REGRETS, I JUST DON'T WANNA SPELL IT OUT OR SEE IT WRITTEN.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh oh God why must it BEEEEEEEE?!?!?!

I'm just stuck here, bored, lonely and with NO ALCOHOL which is UNCONSCIONABLE, really. I should at least be able to allay the effects of misery with vodka. Or rum. Or tequila. Actually, anything might be good at the moment.

*sigh*

God, I am fat.

I hate myself.

Gmail makes me hurt.

The End.

Tim Burton Needs New Fans

Out of all the movies that Tim Burton had a hand in, easily the worst are The Nightmare Before Christmas and Corpse Bride.

What about all the other gems? Why do these two movies have such huge cult/ merchandise followings, where as the GOOD films don't?

Where's my Edward Scissorhands merch? Beetlejuice? Planet of the Apes? Big Fish?!

Nothing!

Of course, the feel-good musicals, those sickening bastards, will be the big heros. They have embarrassing songs that idiotic twelve year old pre-goths can croon to obnoxiously. I hate crooning.

I hate goths.

I HATE MUSICALS!!

Argh.

I'm tired, too...

Streams of Police

You know what's weird to me?

Serial killers remember EVERY SINGLE KILL.

Every one.

In fact, they know intimate things about their victims, I think. Like with Ted Bundy and Georgeann Hawkins he remembered that she had a safety pin on her blue slacks because they were too big.

COME ON.

There's a BOND there, almost! Almost.

How do they remember that stuff?

I'm saying that they may or may not be smarter than the average bear, but they are waaaaaay observant. Their observational skills are so much sharper and that part of their brains just SO much more active that.... well, that they become ninja-like. Undetectable and untraceable. To them, it's almost elementary the stuff that we think is real observation....

The only difference between smart people and serial killers is observation.

Human observation.

Creepy AND cool!

P.S. My best friend just moved to stupid New York (the city) and I'll never forgive him for it. Unless he buys me some Gucci or Miu Miu shoes.

Then I'll forgive him.

XD

AND THEN...

After drinking, I wonder: WHERE'S THE VIOLENT PORN?!

Where's the rape, the abuse, the whimsical settings? Where's the VIOLENCE?!

Listen, I saw this thing on violentclips.com and it was all "Dude punches girl in face- she hates it. Or DOES she?"

hubba-hubba.... -_-'

Listen, WHO THE FUCK CARES, ok, people?

If you want violence you don't care who's enjoying it! YOU are enjoying it, and that's ALL THAT MATTERS!!! If the girl hates it and is crying, SO?!?! If the guy hates it and is a pussy, SO?!?! I mean, really. It's like I'm the only person on the block who knows what violence is.

God, why should I get hurt? YOU'RE out there, YOU get hurt for my pleasure!

DO IT!!!!!

I'm no sociopath- I'm better. I'm an asshole.

We're better because we have no excuse for our non-caring tendencies.

Listen, people, I WISH I were a sociopath because then I'd feel nothing and it'd be great. I almost feel like I'm there.

Go ViolentPorn!!! w00t!

P.P.S. Buff, muscly women are GROSS I don't care what Jara thinks. XO

Unclaimed Bodies?!

I will start drawing again.

I like to draw girls.

Cuz I'm bad at drawing guys.

DX

I wish I could draw guys.

How I love them! ♥

The Messenger Has Arrived

I see strange things in the Harris Teeter parking lot.

I'm not going into the other things I've seen, but this last one has me disturbed.

A man told a lady that he had never loved her. I felt like stabbing his face. What kind of a sick maniac are you to say something like that? This fucker wasn't even good looking, so the fact that she spent so much time seeing passed his gruesome fucking exterior adds only insult to the already egregious injury.

I didn't give her a ride home.

She SHOULD have stabbed his smug motherfucking face instead of crumpling into tears, although tactically speaking that was a good move. It demands attention to your plight and makes the viewer automatically dislike the other individual in the conversation.

So I see what she did there.

But still. That was pretty low of the man. I curse him and all his asshole compatriots (of which, I'm sure, there are many) with severe limp-dickedness. He will never again please any woman because of how deeply he hurt that one woman.

Listen, we're in it against men.

DOOOO IIIT!!!!

Bored and Hating It

I'm just so bored right now.

Everybody's tryin to piss me off and I'm hungry and my stupid period started.

Plus, tomorrow, Kev goes back to school and then I'm stuck home with mom and no alcohol. So she's gonna be like moody and stuff and she's gonna try to trap me into doing housework. I hate that.

But when does MY school start? Not soon enough.

I'm just so fucking bored and I can't draw anything worth a shit so I'm pissed off too and, frankly, I just wanna get wasted.

Argh!

Even my complaining is boring!

There's no light of relief anywhere, even from Ted Bundy! I'm stuck in a wasteland of stupid, boring shit!

Shit, shit, SHIT!

Omg... I'll finish up when I have something to write about... if ever.

>_<

DX

X(

I wanna ROCK with you

All Night

Dance you into that

Sunlight

XD

I feel good nao. Stupid vodka. XD Stupid Michael Jackson, keepin' me alive. XD You ever see that "Bad" video? That shit is dope. I wanna dress like that again. I used to, but I'm really to poor for that, you know?

Plus Hot Topic made me mad by sellin' that emo shit and not my chainy pants and I emailed them and shit and they said ya? So?

My head almost sploded.

Don't stop til you get enough.

Wait a minute- Michael Jackson's death ruined my life.

OMG.

WTFBBQ.

I need you back, Jackson!!!!

You're too young to diiiieeee!!!

DX DX

Red Indians Are Savages

What's with Indians and fedoras?

Easily the most clichéd of the hats, the fedora facilitates the illusion of coolness while maintaining an air of reserved class.

Do Indians really need this feature? Where are the feathers, the beads, the hair wraps, the war paint?

Gone?

Only to be replaced with poorly inked "tribal" tattoos of generic nature? Fedoras? Chain wallets? Those annoying and inexplicable really long skater shorts with cargo pockets for easy theft?!

But why, I say.

Awesome and highly unique headdresses succumb to what, cheaply dyed hair and outrageous and high-maintenance hair cuts?

I was one of these individuals but I don't count because I'm a real American. Not like these Red Indians.

I'm only thinking about this because of a picture of a dude I saw and he's all, "Omg, ladies, I'm like part Cherokee or something boring like that" and what's up on his noggin?

A FEDORA.

Give it up, Red Indians. You can lessen the air of incivility about you, but you can't remove your SAVAGE nature.

Chained wallets... what ARE you thinking?

Eggy Yum

Mmmm eggi-weggs. I like mines scrambled.

You know, eggs may be the best damn thing on the whole entire planet. Think about all the shit you could not make without eggs...

• Bread
• Biscuits
• Macaroni Pie
• Grits and eggs
• French Toast
• Waffles
• Pancakes
• Omlettes
• Croque Madame
• Cookies
• Cubano Sweet Bread (for medianoche sandwiches)
• Toad in the Hole ("toadineeole")
• Steak and Eggs
• Custard
• Meringue
• Cakes, delishus cakes
• Brownies

....And I can't think of nuthin else.. but i'm sure there's something. UNFORTUNATELY, most of these things also require milk, even scrambled eggs, and milk is something I don't have.

So, no scramblied eggi-weggs.

I am saddened.

I mean, the whole point of this post was scrambled eggs-having that i was gonna do....

*Sigh.*

I hate it when people like to think they're smarter than you. Like if they can play you or think they're playin your emotions or something, but what they don't know is that you just don't feel anything but rage and disdain so all of their efforts are futile.

Like if maybe they didn't know how generally insignificant they really are compared to the soul-wrenching, total eclipse of power and intelligence going on around me.

I'm just sayin.

I don't think they read my blog, but it's my blog so if they do, suck it.

I laugh at their efforts.

ALSO, I hate guys on porn videos. They say the same shit- "Oh, look at that ass" and "Yeah, suck my cock" and they do that thing where they suck air in through their stupid fuckin teeth. I wish I could kill em.

They are so stupid. The things people say during sex are so pointless for me... they heighten no sense of pleasure, only the sense of embarrassment at having said something so idiot.

My God, I almost hate sex.

Almost.

Feels great, brings out the most inane, useless part of the human psyche. Oh my God, why.

Top Gear Loves MCs

ok i'm mega-drunk right now.

so what? i don't KNOW you, anyway.

people all pissed off for no reason and HAHA i don't mind because well, i didn't do nothin.

I'M GONNA RIDE MY BIKE!!!

OMG i seen it on TOP GEAR, the greatest show EVER even tho they are always hatin' on Americans. But that show.... I mean... I could die laughing sometimes. Especially the damn limo episode... OMG that was soooooo funny.

Top Gear rules.

Btw Top Gear, I drive a Mazda Miata and its AWESOME but I used to drive a 700 Honda Nighthawk (motorcycle). That was sooooo, omg, soo great.

Motorcycles rule, Top Gear.

XD

Mucho Muchacho

Ted Bundy was the only American serial killer to eat live bee hives and be killed by a profession NFL-licensed football THROUGH THE FACE.

For breakfast he ate roofing nails and shards of bloody glass steeped in Chablis, a fine French wine. Business was booming for the good Dr. Bundy, with many abortions being performed daily and thus always a delishus hot lunch handy.

Bundy was captured in Florida when a police cruiser rear-ended his benzo and he beat the man's head to a bloody pullp with the cruiser door.

FUCK that police.

After that semi-arrest, Bundy pulled his gat out and went a a 26 state killing spree and freestyle rap concert series. We all know that Osama Bin Ladin cried Jihad on the West Coast and killed Tupac, but what we didn't know until now was that Ted Bundy strangled Bin Ladin in his mighty titanium bionic left arm and threw the putrescent remains into the Mississippi River, makin' it all brown and nasty and shit.

It's ok, cuz Osama was a fuckin lameass anyway.

Ted Bundy invented Jews, then destroyed them. He didn't get all the way done, though, because of the Professional NFL-Licensed Football Through the Face Incident, which ended the power-glow of brutality.

Ted Bundy also has his own iPod app, which you can't say about that fuckin dumbass Charlie Manson, who sucks schweaty prisoner nuts for fun and NOT cash. He wakes up everday to his crazy and a honeybun on his motherfuckin pillow.

Cuz he's a fuckin bitch.

Ted Bundy got caught at the Denver KMart fuckin dead bodies and the feds were like you know they're dead and he was like ya? So? And the feds were like that's gross and seriously illegal you fuckin shit but Ted Bundy was already out the door and blazin with Obama in his lac.

Obama don't know SHIT about healthcare but the one thing he does know is Ar-15s, M16s and cappin motherfuckin flagrants in the goddamn Undercity.

Don't cross the man.

Ted Bundy did, and he got footballed by Donovan McNabb IN THE FACE and couldn't make it to another fucking whore to power up on her dead whore body in time, so he said fuck this shit and left.

Peace.

More Murderabilia! Huzzah!

So. Check out what I had bought from Matt Dye. He is a screen printer.

Anyone know who this is?

THAT'S RIGHT!!!

IT'S THE BUNDY!!

That's Bundy looking unhappy super-imposed over Denise Naslund, one of his Lake Sammamish victims.

He's like, Hey, can you help me with my boat? Cuz, with this broken arm an' all....

AND THEY WENT WITH HIM.

Un-fucking-believable. 

Listen, they were even STILL ALIVE together. Like, he went and got ONE girl and then went back for the OTHER and then raped and killed them BOTH.

TELL ME that doesn't suck. 

You can't.

Cuz it totally does, is why.

Had to come back early from visiting Jara, which sucks cuz I wanted to swim...

I like being in the poooooools.

I'm just wondering if it makes a difference in the, ah... quality... of the rape/kill experience to have another girl there...? That sounds awful, but there you are... I mean, does it? I'm just trying to figure on a motive for that one, you know? I'd think it would be far too risky, in any case.

I will see Jaraface next week! I think. If he wants. w00t! I'm excited cuz I likes driving up and down from theres.

Jara drinky absinthe, Jara fall down!

Brother's Birthday, Fancy Trappist Ale and Debilitating Brain Aneurisms

yeah man! well now, instead of fancy trappist ale, i'm onto cosmopolitans FROM A BOTTLE that my mam bought. We're celebrating kev's birthday thats tomorrow n such... theyre low alcohol and it was socially obligatory so no get mad at caroline because i only had one and i'm proud o' myself for limiting.

so aaaahhh

only 6.9%, baby. thats like.... nothing. and mah dad drank all MY vodka so there.

well and whatever.

moose moose moose!

moosey moose cake! i hate you, north carolina! i cant think of a single thing worth saving there. everytime i hear news from there, its bad. those people always got shit to talk and fuck-all to do. O MIGHTY GOD, PLEASE STRIKE NORTH CAROLINA FROM THE MAP!! LET THERE BE NO SURVIVORS!!

For those that may be offended and yet don't know, most of my stupid immigrant family lives in north carolina and now they are hicks. i will go live with the others even tho they live in the old country and its cold there.

i could get cool coats tho.

i guess i'm gonna go smoke a hookah.

cuz i'm bored.

w00t

You know what? I'm just feeling soooo much shit I don't even know how to get that thing down on paper...

I'm just saying this: foodNetwork is AWESOME.

And ChiliPups are AWESOME. 

And I have BOTH so aaaaahhh being old school wit that shit.

I'm drunk, really.

XD

Drinking in Florence

Going to see Jara tomorrow.

He better not balls it up.

I better not balls it up!! 

Oh gosh, I can't wait to see him and show him my car! Its a convertible! I drive it intoxicated! Drunk driving is fun, guys!

See you in FLORENCE, sober drivers!!

AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

Displayed by Most Suicide Victims

Well, our "serial killer" is dead. He was a lame-ass anyways.

I want that anime girl Rubiks cube that is UNMUSSED oh snap please dont muss it up, man.

Oh gosh!

What a pickle! 

I.... has a confession of some magnitude.

..... Whew... ok, this is tuff....

I... uh... listen to Taylor Swift.

....

I SAID IT!!!!

Don't JUDGE me, you JONAHS!

You need a weed aug. Weed aug?!

C'mon.

moshimoshi w00t daijoba desu-ca? whatevs with your heartcut

WE'RE GROWING APART OMG I'M SADDENED

.....

sigh