Monday, June 29, 2009

Roses In Bloom

This has been the worst week I've had in a long time.
You know, I know that most of this bullshit is my fault. When I don't want to know something, why do I ask?
WHY THE DAY BE-FUCKING-FORE, MAN?!?!?!
That, to me, is "You're shit. You are absolutely not special; you are nothing more to me than any other whore off of the street."
I love it.
Please, just someone break into my house and fucking kill me. I can't live anymore and, furthermore, I don't want to.
I'm tired, I'm consumed with something terribly dark and destructive and I just want to feel peace again.
Peace.
Just... a cool, dark, safe peace where I can feel nothing but a serene, quiet content.
I mean, Jara and I are not going out. But I'm saying, Oh yes, I'll make DAMN SURE I fuck this guy before I see you, Jara, because I am nothing to you and therefore... I mean, that's just a little rude, doncha think?
To fuck someone the day before picking me up?
Well, you know what? You could have driven here from California and it wouldn't take away the hurt. 
You. Don't. Care.
And now, I don't care.
I don't care how many hours you've been in the car, how many miles you've driven, how much gas you've wasted, because you'll waste that on anyone. It's not a measure of how much you care. It's a measure of how much you're willing to hurt an innocent person. 
If you read this, I mean, feel free to call me.
But you know what? If you're looking for anything that's not a platonic relationship, drive back to Fayetteville in your car. 
Oh wait.
I messed up. I didn't want to know. Now everything is ruined. I don't wanna live now. WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT?! I just can't imagine why I thought being friends with you was a good idea.... You're a good person, but that doesn't do shit for me. I'll never see the benefit of that. We are holding each other back, I think...
Why is this post so angsty?
Who the fuck cares?

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