eHarmony Got Nothin' On Me

Yessir, I'm the best.

Wanna know why? No? Ok, I'll tell ya: Today, I met the world's hottest guy. Yeah, you can thank me later. ;D

Listen... I'm just real bored and I wanted to write about something awesome that everyone could care about but I can't think of anything... 

Listen... If we go to Miami that would be awesome.

*Bored, bored, bored*

SHARKS!

... Which doesn't even make any sense!

Nope, nothing good today.

I will continue searching.

Roses In Bloom

This has been the worst week I've had in a long time.

You know, I know that most of this bullshit is my fault. When I don't want to know something, why do I ask?

WHY THE DAY BE-FUCKING-FORE, MAN?!?!?!

That, to me, is "You're shit. You are absolutely not special; you are nothing more to me than any other whore off of the street."

I love it.

Please, just someone break into my house and fucking kill me. I can't live anymore and, furthermore, I don't want to.

I'm tired, I'm consumed with something terribly dark and destructive and I just want to feel peace again.

Peace.

Just... a cool, dark, safe peace where I can feel nothing but a serene, quiet content.

I mean, Jara and I are not going out. But I'm saying, Oh yes, I'll make DAMN SURE I fuck this guy before I see you, Jara, because I am nothing to you and therefore... I mean, that's just a little rude, doncha think?

To fuck someone the day before picking me up?

Well, you know what? You could have driven here from California and it wouldn't take away the hurt. 

You. Don't. Care.

And now, I don't care.

I don't care how many hours you've been in the car, how many miles you've driven, how much gas you've wasted, because you'll waste that on anyone. It's not a measure of how much you care. It's a measure of how much you're willing to hurt an innocent person. 

If you read this, I mean, feel free to call me.

But you know what? If you're looking for anything that's not a platonic relationship, drive back to Fayetteville in your car. 

Oh wait.

I messed up. I didn't want to know. Now everything is ruined. I don't wanna live now. WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT?! I just can't imagine why I thought being friends with you was a good idea.... You're a good person, but that doesn't do shit for me. I'll never see the benefit of that. We are holding each other back, I think...

Why is this post so angsty?

Who the fuck cares?

Sharks and Serial Killers- Together at Last

Scientists found that Great White Sharks hunt just like Human Serial Killers!!!

How AWESOME is that?!

They lurk in the dark!

They stalk their prey!

They have a MODUS OPERANDI!!!

Oh em gee this is so cool! Man I always knew Great Whites were the badass motherfuckers of the ocean and I see that I have not been disappointed FOR ONCE!

Oh gosh just GOOGLE that shit and you'll be amazed.

Serial Killers are cool.

Richard Petty Racing Experience- Be the King!™

I got my dad the Rookie Experience at the Richard Petty Racing Experience place. He's going to the Lowe's Motor Speedway to drive EIGHT LAPS in a 600 HORSEPOWER OFFICIAL NASCAR RACE CAR!!!!!!!!

It is the coolest thing I've ever gotten my dad.

I didn't even know such a thing EXISTED.

He gets a RACING SUIT and he gets to wear a HELMET and he gets to DRIVE THE MOTHERFUCKING CAR!!!!! 

.....I hope he doesn't die.

He will be careful, I know.

I visited my brother today and he's doin' pretty good. As good as one can, in prison...

Haha, he's a scary dude if he weren't my brother. XD

Its like a fistful of MOUTHPIE.

I don't know. My brother said it.

Oh gosh you guys should look up 'guy wields dual M249 machine guns' on youtube. I think thats what its called anyways... ITS AWESOME!!!! That video is the best thing I've ever seen IN. MY. LIFE.

I have been compulsively plucking my outbrows out and its hard for me to stop, but theyre growin back now. ^-^ So no worries.

Oh gosh guys!

I am so excited about this coming week! I will learn to drive, call the cops on children, give Dad the present of a lifetime, AND SEE JARA in his natural habitat- Florence. Hey, buddy, Florence ain't all bad, they got a FLEA MARKET! That's great, cuz I'm low on fleas, to be honest.

XD

Sigh...

I see now that my post of last night was, if anything, swamped in a chaotic hatred and sleeplessness and the end result was that a clear thesis failed to make itself present.

SociopathWorld = Full of Shit

That's what I'm trying to say.

Everyone wants, through subconscious need, to think they are sociopathic so as to distinguish themselves from the herd. Everyone wants to feel unique.

Sure, I understand this.

They, on this website, burden their understanding of this malformed personality with the "sheep vs. sociopath" argument, stating that the sheep (empaths) are mindless underachievers and that the sociopaths (sociopaths) are free, all-understanding Boss Matsumoto types who make the world go round.

Now.

The empath will define the sociopath.

The sociopath has nothing in the first place. His greatest victory is the successful mimicry of the empath.

It is an impossibility for the empath to grasp the sociopathic personality and the reverse is also true.

The sociopath is an incomplete personality.

The sociopath, in any case, doesn't feel any need for human connection, therefore why would he go out of his way to prove to everyone that he is a sociopath? Wouldn't that be a helluva lot like... connecting? 

GASP!

I think that these are regular empaths masquerading (poorly) as sociopaths because they want recognition.

Listen, just be yourselves, asses, as much as it pains me to say it, it's prolly better for all.

Because think about it: you're pretending to be an individual pretending to be you. So, in essence, you're pretending to be yourself.

And you didn't get played by a sociopath when you were in college. You're just a moron who got played by an asshole.

Not unique.

This whole this is pretty pathetic, actually.

My mind is pretty chaotic, actually, hard to make a linear thought on paper. Or on blog. Whatever.

You gets it.

SEXY DARK CHOCOLATE ON THE BACKREST

Only 19.95! Try it FREE for 30 Days!!

You won't believe it!

I can give you what you want.

I can make your heart beat short.

Jan. It's a singularly 70s name, cuz like, who would name their kid JANICE right?!

Fuckin' not ME, girl!

Oooo RETURN THE DEVICE, WOMAN!!!

HADAGITBURND?! HADAGITBURND?!

Toast.

How do you find sociopaths on the interwebs? Do they has a club?

I bet they do. But its a really shitty club because everyone only motions for things that will benefit himself exclusively and all the other members vote it down for spite.

Everyone's always vying for control of the club, too, and they're always scheduling outlandish events that get them noticed, but ALL the members try to take credit so they get on TV.

There's a high drop-out rate too, but they always join back because no one in the real world respects their true genius, ya knows?

It's ok to lie to women- they're not people like us!

Ah, I love you, Family Guy!

But still... mini deep-dish pizzas from outer space wearing a snowcap in the acne aisle. Making vodka melons with closed-eye kittens on the wing.

Don't let your hand touch the hot metal thing.

Its... HOT... you know.

OMG I hate that damn FG episode where stewie and lois fight like ENDLESSLY. It was the lamest episode.

Ah, yes, I've found it. Its called SociopathWorld and it is inherently full of shit, I think. There are bona fide "comments" from 100% real-life Sociopaths (I am just so sure!) that spout off textbook analyses of their characters like they had no idea how to describe themselves without having first read a book on the subject.

I pity them, really, because they either are pretending to be socio or really are socio but are so uncreative and narrow-minded that they have absorbed their entire understanding of their personalities from medical journals and psych 101 books.

Furthermore, I find it odd that they are so very... eager to tell everyone on the planet how abnormal they are. I would never and have never revealed my deepest self to anyone, and I'm a normal personality! I can't imagine that someone so aware of his obvious social malady would go around telling everyone and his brother about it.

Listen, I think they're fake. 

Ratings ratings ratings!!

PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!

Ooooh, oooo, hey world, I can't feel ANYTHING for ANY OF YOU! Am I fascinating or what?! Come hither, simple minded cretins, and shower me with your affection and attention! Elevate me above your own pathetic lives!

OK SURE, ASSHOLE!!! YOU KNOW WHAT?! I FEEL SOMETHING- HATRED!!!!

SHUT!!

THE!!

FUCK!!

UP!!!

READ THE SHIT AND WEEP!! Like I give a FUCK what some soulless asshole has to say about HIMSELF. If you can't do anything for ME, if you can't talk about ME, then I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!!! Cuz its like this: I'm better than any Sociopath. They think they're so fucking above everyone else because they're undeveloped emotionally.

See, I'm just an asshole.

That makes me better and different.

This was a long-ass rant.

Whew.

Diabetes Testin' Supplies

I just watched this commercial for Gracie Combatives, and it was very action packed and inspiring. I thought, hey, if I had the will to call for those 13 DVDs for only $9.95, I could learn martial arts from some brothers. Listen, sometimes you don't pick the fight, the fight picks you and you better be ready. That's what the Gracie Bros. said.

I don't know.

I mean, I used to think Martial Arts was really cool, but not so much anymore. It's so weird, if I even meet people who do martial arts, I like them less because of it. I feel as tho I must immediately extricate myself from their company.

I guess except for Jara, who is only half in that category anyways.

With his "killer" sensei and all...

Whatever, man, I hate TRYING TO WATCH TV WHILE SOMEONE IS CONSTANTLY TALKING OVER IT!!!

OMG KEV SHUT UP!!!

Listen, I'm bored now.

I like hookahs.

I have a Mya right now and Mya is tha BOMB (gettin' old school wit it).

I want another hookah and some damn coals and Romman shisha. Cept I'm about to say fuck it to hookahs, man, because no one likes to smoke that shit with me. Great. I get to smoke it by myself, thats really fabulous.

A-fucking-mazing, jack.

Whatever. I don't have the money for such a useless pastime ANYWAYS so fuck it.

I'll just throw the one I have away man, this shit is so stupid.

A Brewtus of Butane DOES A BODY GOOD

If a body see a body

Comin' through the rye,

Could a body catch a body

If a body try?

So I had a pretty good day thus far...

I'm crowin' it, if you must know.

That's right; I bought a BUNDY BRAND® High Impact Quality™ Crowbar. It's pretty friggen sweet, if ya ask me. Twenty-four inches of solid, head-crushing steel.

That's what she said!! ShaaaaWING!!

Ok.

I mean, it's tried n true since 1970, so it's gotta be good!

I caught a horseshoe crab. They're living fossils, you know. They're shell covered water spiders. They have blue blood caused by the hemocyanin (here's lookin' at you, jara!) and they have SPIDER LEGS.

Picture a giant, hairless tarantula in a hand-crafted tank.

Horseshoe crab WIN!

:D

Nikolai the King Fish still lives. He is, apparently, very hardy.

God, I can't do this anymore.

I don't know.

Must... get.. CAR...!!

Does this mean that I'm not alone...?

I'm drinkin out of that BREWTUS glass that A CERTAIN BODY got ("got" here meaning "stole") from Applebee's. Dude, I could really go for some Applebee's right now, now that I thinks of it. I hongry.

I's a hongry hongry honky, yassir.

I'm bored but I think I'll logotize my crowbar... with a logo... >_O

We've got the thunders here! Such thunder, rain and lightning! 

Joy of joys!!

Fuck Them CSI Shows, Man

Man, a kitten died in my hands today.

I've been up for two days straight now.

I'm hungry, but I feel sick.

I'm bored as shit.

I'm lonely.

I'm whiny.

I'm in kind of a bad mood and Travis ran out of minutes and calls me from like 7 different numbers and I can't call him back because I don't know which number to dial.

My brain is numb.

My brain is also having all this little shocky/ burny type feelings in it.

I wanna fucking do something.

I'm getting extremely annoyed with everyone and everything, especially this CSI:NY that I'm watching because they always end the same. Street-smart, tough-as-nails detectives find magic, perfectly preserved and 100% condemning evidence at every crime scene. They then form a highly improbable opinion on who the suspect is and proceed to find more magic evidence to support that theory. They bring the guy in and use coercion to try and get him to confess, only to at that moment be handed evidence that negates his involvement. They find just enough evidence to bring the real guy in, coerce the truth from him and everyone goes home happy.

Except me.

Cuz that's not how it is in real life forensic pathology.

You don't find what you need. You can't bounce your theory off of the suspect until he confesses.

You look at the evidence and you can't mold it to fit a profile.

Evidence first, profiling later.

I don't even bother with CSI Miami. Its twisted, convoluted and absurd.

CSI is great, but still has very little real world relevance or basis. Man, I'm tellin' you that you almost never find what you need. You just gotta work with what you find.

I guess that'd make a boring show.

Or something.

CHARLES MANSON

GUESS WHO'S NOT A SERIAL KILLER?!

CHARLES MANSON!!!

He's NEVER killed even a SINGLE person, so how can he be a SERIAL KILLER?!

Oh wait- I know!!

Cuz everyone is stupid and just feels like labeling this psycho as a serial killer when really he's JUST A LUNATIC. Just your GARDEN-ASS-VARIETY lunatic.

Charles Manson, I hate you because YOU ARE LAME AND PATHETIC and you have NEVER KILLED ANYONE.

On that note, Manson is a really really great manipulator, but manipulation does not a serial killer make, else I am in some trouble.

I just get so frustrated when I see all these serial killer videos with ACTUAL serial killers in them and then for some motherfuckin reason theres Little Charlie Manson, who's never killed anyone, thrown right in the mix just because he's a crazy, wild-haired lunatic.

Wtf, mate?

Iunno but I has kittens and they are trés adorable!

w00t!

*Edited For More TedTalk*

Now listen. I've been reading a lot about Ted Bundy's trials and I'm just sayin' that it seems like there was a lil racialistic injustery there.

Well, no, but I just don't see how they could have convicted the man on the evidence that they had there.... I mean, I know he done it and the jury obviously sensed the HorrorSickness in the man, but really...

I'm just noticing that a lot of the stuff used to convict the dude was very, ah, circumstantial.

I would've hated to be convicted with such evidence.

Just think about it tho: Ted left NO hard evidence.

NOTHING.

No fingerprints, no hairs, no blood....

The man was a pro, I'll give him that.

Like if he hadn't given this unequivocal confession, I would be hard pressed to believe he had done the stuff.

The thing that bothers me is the stupid eyewitnesses. They seemed to just point Ted out in court even when they had previously, in line-ups containing Ted, picked other individuals. That really makes me wonder if they had seen anything at all, or if they were just trying to be helpful.

Seems to me that eyewitness accounts are at best fallible and at worst outright lies and make-believe.

I would've been so mad if I had to sit through that, man.

So mad.

It's just weird that the jury knew he was guilty just by seeing him in court. It's cuz the Mask of Sanity was gone, I bet.

Yeah.

Ha, serial killers! You prey on us, but we can sense you! We have mystical, deep-rooted powers and understanding that you will never comprehend! 

It's like magic!

Kittens- Not the Main Focus of the Bog

But still, we has 5 new kittens anyways. They are 2 panther-types, 2 woodgrains and 1 little dumb white one. He's still pretty great, tho.

No man. 

It's all about me.

Like, no one emails me. No one talks to me but Jara. It's like... oh great, I'll wake up again this morning, but why? Not like anyone cares.

I don't even care, dammit.

Well, and you might think I'm being melodramatic but I fucking get to because its MY MOTHERFUCKING BLOG and even if it is whiny, its still hurtful and boring.

Listen, you guys are here to entertain me.

Done.

That's all you've got, so I suggest you get tha fuck on it, cuz I'm not terribly entertained right now.

C'mon now, don't bore me.

That's the worst thing you could do, really. Cuz then I hafta internalize all this hatred and, well, we all know that's not good. 

I wouldn't want to hafta confront my HollowSelf, you know?

He might viciously run me through.

Oh, how harrowing, the HollowSelf Confrontation!

Well, whatever.

It's just boring is all.

Boring boring boring and with no good porn on the interwebs anywhere..... sigh. It's just no fun to be me right now.

-_-

Oh Gosh!

What grown man hasn't burned a fucking whore's skull in his girlfriend's fireplace while she was out? It's a tradition on this planet.

- Some guy on youTube

Isn't that great? I mean, I love it! It's very very fonny to teh max.

It was a comment on a video of Ted Bundy confessing to burning the skull of one of his victims in a fireplace.

And he's all like, "Of all the things I did to this woman, poor Liz, this is the one she's probably least likely to forgive me for."

Uh, NO SHIT, genius, huh?! I mean, even I think it's a little brazen to expect to be forgiven for something like that.

Can you imagine...?

But yeah- footbinding. Them shits are crazy small.

I'm sad that they don't do that to the Chinese womens anymores.

DANGUS! That's big Angus!!

That's what she said! ShaaaaWING!

Harr har har harrrr

Jara n Coconuthead WIN

Ok. So Jara and his bro CoconutHead (real name, I swears) came over for a lil bit n it was..... 

Well.

We got like 5 cops with AR-15s and drug dogs called on us by some shitty storage worker people. I swear to God I'm gonna buy that land and go out there ALL THE TIME and do WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT.

But whatever.

Car sex: harder when little brothers keep bothering.

I think I'm hungry....? Maybe...?

We went to Sr. Tequila's but... you know I don't really like them and I wasn't really in the mood for mexican fooods.

I only ate there because they didn't ID but now I'm 21 so it's a moot point, you know?

I had fun. I can't wait to see Jara again cuz I likes him n he's fun to hang out with. Smoking a hookah is impossible while having sex tho. I'm sure I don't like it so much because, while I like both of those things individually, its not really possible to enjoy either of them fully while the other is also in play.

If only Jara weren't horny 100% of the time.

Hmm.

Like that'll happen. XD

Blargh.

My head hurts.

My stomach hurts.

I feel like barfing.

On that pleasant note, I'm hungry as well.

I saw Land of the Lost and it was awesome.

I've been smokin' a lotta hookah with Jara.

A cat fight scared me outside in the dark. It was with real actual cats, not girls, dumbasses. Still, it was pretty scary-like.

But the ship will never sink. It won't sink. It's insinkable.

Is it because I'm fat? No, she's fat, too.

I'm tryin' to watch The Deliberate Stranger in parts on youTube because, apparently, movies have expiration dates. Like, they got tired of producing it or something, so.... they just... quit?

Ok. Man that's hella stupid.

Ha! See, Jara has just come over all snoopy-like tryin to cop a look at this screen but I played like I was doing something important but really, he's the only one who reads this blog, so ha ha ha! he's gonna see it anyway.

But I bet he's all like shifted feeling, like Omg, what's she doing? Who's she talking to? I mean, it's none of my bidness but... I feel left out!

Yeah well, I'm just blogging bout nothin.

That motherfucking excedrin did NOTHING for my headache.

Fuck that excedrin, man, and it's hard to spell too...? Yeah, they wanna get stick BAD.

Peace.

I'm Bored, Son!

I'm bored. Man, I wanna do something, but everytime I do do something it isn't fun....

man i want an iPhone now. my dad has one but, man, he don't know how to USE that thang!! damn.

we're goin to pick up jara tomorrow from florence and bringing him here- all for roast beast.

i'm verry excited about it! i can't wait to seeee him!! he is awesome and we will smoke out of this lil hookah that he got FO FREE so you know what it is.

omg. still bored.

still wanting an iPhone.

dad, gimme yours. you don't need it.

dude my posts are all really short, but its just because i feel like y'all will get bored readin this shacrap.

ok and i read this blog like yesterday of the day before or whatever and it was VERY long, probably 3 or 4 Word pages long (that's long for a blog, y'all, admit it), ALL about the pro's and con's of original, censored hentai from japan versus uncensored american releases of the same, with attention to Bible Black: New Testament.

it was quite informative.

apparently, this individual found, much to his dismay, that the american release was released uncensored, yet unfinished as well.

so, we have this completed, more expensive, censored japanese version of BB:NT and this incomplete, less expensive and uncensored American release... actually, i'm not sure whether this is correct, but i remember that one hentai only had the english dub and not the original japanese as well, but i'm unsure if it was BB:NT.

that sucks because i hate the censors, but i also hate getting an incomplete product.

i love hentai, is what i'm tryin to say, and i don't wanna get cheated just because Milky feels like they can rip off their American consumers, who don't suffer the same totalitarian rules of morons who think that porn somehow doesn't include the naughty bits.

i'm just sayin.

but this totally wasted a lot of my time, which is excellent, because i was quite bored until i started writing about nothing.

w0000t.

yes. sooo.... see you tomorrow jara!!

*excited!*

Wah Da Tah

yes son.

something is happening. 

something is inside me and it must come out. IT MUST. i am inspired.

i have this great picture that, for once, is not a girl. i must draw this picture. i have been thinking about it for.... god knows how long.

months? years?

much longer than days, i know that.

my dad just got an iPhone, but he hates Apple! XD

the phone is cool, tho.

i got to draw nao.

also, i got a phone call from your mom, jara. she was very apologetic and embarrassed sounding and she said she was very sorry for making it awkward and embarrassing you. she said she wanted us to be able to have a good time together and she ruined it and she was really really sorry that she did.

she also apologized to my brother for scaring him and being weird.

i like your mom :) she's got a good heart in her, even if it's mostly covered in drug use and alcohol. we're not all perfect like me, tho, are we?

XD XD

meh.

Let's have some fun.. this beat is sick

I wanna take a ride on your disco stick...

Don't think too much just bust that kick

I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

heck yes i do...

i'm cleanin like madness today but it was ok cuz my mama made manicotti and i love those guys...

yeah everyone keeps sayin theyre gonna call me back but they dont. they just dont call. why do i wait for all these people to call me its cuz i'm pathetic.

whateverrr.

i'm going to draw up my bundy brand® crowbars logo...

and more girls, i guess.

i'm experimenting with line weight applications in girl-drawing. very high-test, son.

verrry basic, as well. thats 2D and drawing 100 stuff right thar

silly hoomins. thats tuff stuffs, buddeh.

i am wanting something but what is it?

what do i want...?

Dexter Makes Me Hungry

i get hungry when i read dexter.

and watch it, too. man... so hungry.

i'm watchin the mighty boosh. it is a funny shooow.

back to drinkin vodka. i miss the sting, ya know?

i feel weird, tho.

like.... i'm living in two different times. like now and also the past. a past when i wasn't even born yet! i think i'm going crazy. something occurred to me earlier and it was a bad idea, but i thought, 'yeah, that's a great idea. i have to make that a reality.'

its just... i'll say something or reference something and think, 'what the hell? that doesn't exist yet!' its... *sigh* man, i don't know.

i honestly feel like SOMETHING IS WRONG inside me and my head...

but whatever. enough in the weird zone. i'm drinkin so's its ok, buddeh!

man vince on the mighty boosh is teh best. hes kinda kyooooot too ^-^

man. i don't know. i'm just so tired and i'm back home btw...

back home and back to sadness and boredom and no jara.

they keep rereleasing the volcano taco... like, just make it a permanent part of the menuuu douchebags. cuz its delicious thats why dawg

i want taco bell nao XD