I drank over two pintos of vodka last night (meaning now).

Don't lknow how much that is bcuz im still drunk (as its still last night).

i hate you jara.

you ruined me.

i hope someone does to you what you did to me. it'll be subtle. fucking look for it.

hahaha... lol but not lol. lol for your benefit, but i dont feel like laffin...

hmm.

I hate Everything.

You know what?

Like.... No one reads my blog.

I think this is because I have nothing to say. Or perhaps I am mean. Or perhaps all I talk about sensibly is serial killers and their goings-on.

Well, good news!

That's not about to change.

Listen, Tehran-- I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF YOU'RE RIOTING. STFU!

And hey, New York-- NO ONE LOVES YOU. LEAST OF ALL ME. STFU! (WITH YOUR SHIRTS!)

And oh, wait, Savannah, Georgia? YOU ARE THE MOST AWFUL TOWN I'VE EVER LIVED IN. PLEASE DO US ALL A FAVOR AND ERADICATE YOUR HOMELESS PEOPLE. I HATE TO LOOK AT THEM OR HAVE TO INTERACT WITH THEM. THEY ARE PUTRID AND YOU ARE THE RETARDED, POINTLESS SISTER OF CHARLESTON. PLEASE DIE.

Kinkajous want some? PLEASE DIE.

Alcoholics Anonymous wants some? GO TO HELL YOU SPINELESS BASTARDS.

KOSS headphones company? WHY DON'T YOU ANSWER YOUR GODDAMN PHONES, YOU FUCKING MORONS?!?!

Professor Mosch? I HATE PAINTING. LET ME DRAW, WOMAN!!!

My stupid sister? GET MARRIED ALREADY, YOU STUPID SLAG!!!! I AM TIRED OF WAITING TO UPSTAGE YOU AT YOUR WEDDING!! THERE MUST BE BOATS.

Homeless people? FUCKING DIE. OR GET A JOB.

The company that makes Столичная? GIVE ME FREE VODKA. WILL DRINK FOR FREE.

Red Bull? STFU!

That new tooth in the back of my mouth? STFU!

Omg I want to box something right now. I have no money. I have no patience. I have a ton of work to do and not enough time to do it. Whatever. Don't read. I hate you anyways.

But not if you're reading this. Then I like you.

^-^

♥♡♥

I Dislike Them.

I hate asians.

I hate looking at them in porn.

I hate the way they sound when they try to speak English.

I hate the way everyone worships their food.

I hate how they dress.

I hate their flat faces with their somehow-puffy cheeks.

I hate their obsession with small feet.

I hate it when they emblazon their pigeon-English onto awkwardly manufactured shirts.

I hate that I can't go on the FoodNetwork website without an entire section cordoned off for the making of their seafood-rich foods.

I hate that they eat seafood for breakfast.

I hate that besides all these good reasons, they are so damn marketable.

I love their anime and manga, though.

w00t.

New York, Stay in the Damn North

I hate those stupid "I ♥ NY" shirts that everyone thinks are cool.

Yesterday (or whenever that horrible shopping trip was), at the mall, I saw FIVE DIFFERENT PEOPLE with those shirts on and I'm thinking, "Hey, ass, are you in New York?! THEN TAKE THE FUCKING SHIRT OFF!!!"

I really want to slap people with these shirts, but the final straw comes when one shows up on a Japanese girl in MY manga that I love to read.

THE JAPANESE DO NOT LOVE NEW YORK!!!

IN FACT, NOBODY LOVES YOU, NEW YORK!!! HOW ABOUT THAT?!?!

OOO HERE'S AN IDEA- HOW ABOUT I INUNDATE NEW YORK CITY WITH MY BIG-BREASTED, SMILEY, CHEERFUL AND HIGHLY INTELLIGENT GANG OF GIRLS WEARING THE EVER POPULAR "I ♥ THE SOUTH CUZ IT'S SUPERIOR IN EVERY CONCEIVABLE WAY TO THE NORTH" SHIRTS?!?!?!

(A shirt of my own design, by the way.)

Omg, I'm shivering just to THINK of the possibilities of ruining the already ruinous cavity that is New York.

Keep your name and your chlamydia-infested lovers out of the South, New Fucking York.

Loco Pollo Off the Wall MADNESS

OH MY GOD I'M SO BORED.

Everyone else is doing something great, but I'M stuck here being a fatty and HATING IT and having no one to talk to, besides.

Plus, there's no good porn out, which is EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING because I'm outta ideas on my own and I need a new fantasy to work with. I'm so bored with MY fantasies that I don't even think about them during... you know. THAT.

>_O

YOU DON'T JUDGE ME. I'M HERE BY MYSELF. I HAVE NO REGRETS, I JUST DON'T WANNA SPELL IT OUT OR SEE IT WRITTEN.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh oh God why must it BEEEEEEEE?!?!?!

I'm just stuck here, bored, lonely and with NO ALCOHOL which is UNCONSCIONABLE, really. I should at least be able to allay the effects of misery with vodka. Or rum. Or tequila. Actually, anything might be good at the moment.

*sigh*

God, I am fat.

I hate myself.

Gmail makes me hurt.

The End.

Tim Burton Needs New Fans

Out of all the movies that Tim Burton had a hand in, easily the worst are The Nightmare Before Christmas and Corpse Bride.

What about all the other gems? Why do these two movies have such huge cult/ merchandise followings, where as the GOOD films don't?

Where's my Edward Scissorhands merch? Beetlejuice? Planet of the Apes? Big Fish?!

Nothing!

Of course, the feel-good musicals, those sickening bastards, will be the big heros. They have embarrassing songs that idiotic twelve year old pre-goths can croon to obnoxiously. I hate crooning.

I hate goths.

I HATE MUSICALS!!

Argh.

I'm tired, too...

Streams of Police

You know what's weird to me?

Serial killers remember EVERY SINGLE KILL.

Every one.

In fact, they know intimate things about their victims, I think. Like with Ted Bundy and Georgeann Hawkins he remembered that she had a safety pin on her blue slacks because they were too big.

COME ON.

There's a BOND there, almost! Almost.

How do they remember that stuff?

I'm saying that they may or may not be smarter than the average bear, but they are waaaaaay observant. Their observational skills are so much sharper and that part of their brains just SO much more active that.... well, that they become ninja-like. Undetectable and untraceable. To them, it's almost elementary the stuff that we think is real observation....

The only difference between smart people and serial killers is observation.

Human observation.

Creepy AND cool!

P.S. My best friend just moved to stupid New York (the city) and I'll never forgive him for it. Unless he buys me some Gucci or Miu Miu shoes.

Then I'll forgive him.

XD

AND THEN...

After drinking, I wonder: WHERE'S THE VIOLENT PORN?!

Where's the rape, the abuse, the whimsical settings? Where's the VIOLENCE?!

Listen, I saw this thing on violentclips.com and it was all "Dude punches girl in face- she hates it. Or DOES she?"

hubba-hubba.... -_-'

Listen, WHO THE FUCK CARES, ok, people?

If you want violence you don't care who's enjoying it! YOU are enjoying it, and that's ALL THAT MATTERS!!! If the girl hates it and is crying, SO?!?! If the guy hates it and is a pussy, SO?!?! I mean, really. It's like I'm the only person on the block who knows what violence is.

God, why should I get hurt? YOU'RE out there, YOU get hurt for my pleasure!

DO IT!!!!!

I'm no sociopath- I'm better. I'm an asshole.

We're better because we have no excuse for our non-caring tendencies.

Listen, people, I WISH I were a sociopath because then I'd feel nothing and it'd be great. I almost feel like I'm there.

Go ViolentPorn!!! w00t!

P.P.S. Buff, muscly women are GROSS I don't care what Jara thinks. XO

Unclaimed Bodies?!

I will start drawing again.

I like to draw girls.

Cuz I'm bad at drawing guys.

DX

I wish I could draw guys.

How I love them! ♥

The Messenger Has Arrived

I see strange things in the Harris Teeter parking lot.

I'm not going into the other things I've seen, but this last one has me disturbed.

A man told a lady that he had never loved her. I felt like stabbing his face. What kind of a sick maniac are you to say something like that? This fucker wasn't even good looking, so the fact that she spent so much time seeing passed his gruesome fucking exterior adds only insult to the already egregious injury.

I didn't give her a ride home.

She SHOULD have stabbed his smug motherfucking face instead of crumpling into tears, although tactically speaking that was a good move. It demands attention to your plight and makes the viewer automatically dislike the other individual in the conversation.

So I see what she did there.

But still. That was pretty low of the man. I curse him and all his asshole compatriots (of which, I'm sure, there are many) with severe limp-dickedness. He will never again please any woman because of how deeply he hurt that one woman.

Listen, we're in it against men.

DOOOO IIIT!!!!

Bored and Hating It

I'm just so bored right now.

Everybody's tryin to piss me off and I'm hungry and my stupid period started.

Plus, tomorrow, Kev goes back to school and then I'm stuck home with mom and no alcohol. So she's gonna be like moody and stuff and she's gonna try to trap me into doing housework. I hate that.

But when does MY school start? Not soon enough.

I'm just so fucking bored and I can't draw anything worth a shit so I'm pissed off too and, frankly, I just wanna get wasted.

Argh!

Even my complaining is boring!

There's no light of relief anywhere, even from Ted Bundy! I'm stuck in a wasteland of stupid, boring shit!

Shit, shit, SHIT!

Omg... I'll finish up when I have something to write about... if ever.

>_<

DX

X(

I wanna ROCK with you

All Night

Dance you into that

Sunlight

XD

I feel good nao. Stupid vodka. XD Stupid Michael Jackson, keepin' me alive. XD You ever see that "Bad" video? That shit is dope. I wanna dress like that again. I used to, but I'm really to poor for that, you know?

Plus Hot Topic made me mad by sellin' that emo shit and not my chainy pants and I emailed them and shit and they said ya? So?

My head almost sploded.

Don't stop til you get enough.

Wait a minute- Michael Jackson's death ruined my life.

OMG.

WTFBBQ.

I need you back, Jackson!!!!

You're too young to diiiieeee!!!

DX DX

Red Indians Are Savages

What's with Indians and fedoras?

Easily the most clichéd of the hats, the fedora facilitates the illusion of coolness while maintaining an air of reserved class.

Do Indians really need this feature? Where are the feathers, the beads, the hair wraps, the war paint?

Gone?

Only to be replaced with poorly inked "tribal" tattoos of generic nature? Fedoras? Chain wallets? Those annoying and inexplicable really long skater shorts with cargo pockets for easy theft?!

But why, I say.

Awesome and highly unique headdresses succumb to what, cheaply dyed hair and outrageous and high-maintenance hair cuts?

I was one of these individuals but I don't count because I'm a real American. Not like these Red Indians.

I'm only thinking about this because of a picture of a dude I saw and he's all, "Omg, ladies, I'm like part Cherokee or something boring like that" and what's up on his noggin?

A FEDORA.

Give it up, Red Indians. You can lessen the air of incivility about you, but you can't remove your SAVAGE nature.

Chained wallets... what ARE you thinking?

Eggy Yum

Mmmm eggi-weggs. I like mines scrambled.

You know, eggs may be the best damn thing on the whole entire planet. Think about all the shit you could not make without eggs...

• Bread
• Biscuits
• Macaroni Pie
• Grits and eggs
• French Toast
• Waffles
• Pancakes
• Omlettes
• Croque Madame
• Cookies
• Cubano Sweet Bread (for medianoche sandwiches)
• Toad in the Hole ("toadineeole")
• Steak and Eggs
• Custard
• Meringue
• Cakes, delishus cakes
• Brownies

....And I can't think of nuthin else.. but i'm sure there's something. UNFORTUNATELY, most of these things also require milk, even scrambled eggs, and milk is something I don't have.

So, no scramblied eggi-weggs.

I am saddened.

I mean, the whole point of this post was scrambled eggs-having that i was gonna do....

*Sigh.*

I hate it when people like to think they're smarter than you. Like if they can play you or think they're playin your emotions or something, but what they don't know is that you just don't feel anything but rage and disdain so all of their efforts are futile.

Like if maybe they didn't know how generally insignificant they really are compared to the soul-wrenching, total eclipse of power and intelligence going on around me.

I'm just sayin.

I don't think they read my blog, but it's my blog so if they do, suck it.

I laugh at their efforts.

ALSO, I hate guys on porn videos. They say the same shit- "Oh, look at that ass" and "Yeah, suck my cock" and they do that thing where they suck air in through their stupid fuckin teeth. I wish I could kill em.

They are so stupid. The things people say during sex are so pointless for me... they heighten no sense of pleasure, only the sense of embarrassment at having said something so idiot.

My God, I almost hate sex.

Almost.

Feels great, brings out the most inane, useless part of the human psyche. Oh my God, why.

Top Gear Loves MCs

ok i'm mega-drunk right now.

so what? i don't KNOW you, anyway.

people all pissed off for no reason and HAHA i don't mind because well, i didn't do nothin.

I'M GONNA RIDE MY BIKE!!!

OMG i seen it on TOP GEAR, the greatest show EVER even tho they are always hatin' on Americans. But that show.... I mean... I could die laughing sometimes. Especially the damn limo episode... OMG that was soooooo funny.

Top Gear rules.

Btw Top Gear, I drive a Mazda Miata and its AWESOME but I used to drive a 700 Honda Nighthawk (motorcycle). That was sooooo, omg, soo great.

Motorcycles rule, Top Gear.

XD

Mucho Muchacho

Ted Bundy was the only American serial killer to eat live bee hives and be killed by a profession NFL-licensed football THROUGH THE FACE.

For breakfast he ate roofing nails and shards of bloody glass steeped in Chablis, a fine French wine. Business was booming for the good Dr. Bundy, with many abortions being performed daily and thus always a delishus hot lunch handy.

Bundy was captured in Florida when a police cruiser rear-ended his benzo and he beat the man's head to a bloody pullp with the cruiser door.

FUCK that police.

After that semi-arrest, Bundy pulled his gat out and went a a 26 state killing spree and freestyle rap concert series. We all know that Osama Bin Ladin cried Jihad on the West Coast and killed Tupac, but what we didn't know until now was that Ted Bundy strangled Bin Ladin in his mighty titanium bionic left arm and threw the putrescent remains into the Mississippi River, makin' it all brown and nasty and shit.

It's ok, cuz Osama was a fuckin lameass anyway.

Ted Bundy invented Jews, then destroyed them. He didn't get all the way done, though, because of the Professional NFL-Licensed Football Through the Face Incident, which ended the power-glow of brutality.

Ted Bundy also has his own iPod app, which you can't say about that fuckin dumbass Charlie Manson, who sucks schweaty prisoner nuts for fun and NOT cash. He wakes up everday to his crazy and a honeybun on his motherfuckin pillow.

Cuz he's a fuckin bitch.

Ted Bundy got caught at the Denver KMart fuckin dead bodies and the feds were like you know they're dead and he was like ya? So? And the feds were like that's gross and seriously illegal you fuckin shit but Ted Bundy was already out the door and blazin with Obama in his lac.

Obama don't know SHIT about healthcare but the one thing he does know is Ar-15s, M16s and cappin motherfuckin flagrants in the goddamn Undercity.

Don't cross the man.

Ted Bundy did, and he got footballed by Donovan McNabb IN THE FACE and couldn't make it to another fucking whore to power up on her dead whore body in time, so he said fuck this shit and left.

Peace.

More Murderabilia! Huzzah!

So. Check out what I had bought from Matt Dye. He is a screen printer.

Anyone know who this is?

THAT'S RIGHT!!!

IT'S THE BUNDY!!

That's Bundy looking unhappy super-imposed over Denise Naslund, one of his Lake Sammamish victims.

He's like, Hey, can you help me with my boat? Cuz, with this broken arm an' all....

AND THEY WENT WITH HIM.

Un-fucking-believable. 

Listen, they were even STILL ALIVE together. Like, he went and got ONE girl and then went back for the OTHER and then raped and killed them BOTH.

TELL ME that doesn't suck. 

You can't.

Cuz it totally does, is why.

Had to come back early from visiting Jara, which sucks cuz I wanted to swim...

I like being in the poooooools.

I'm just wondering if it makes a difference in the, ah... quality... of the rape/kill experience to have another girl there...? That sounds awful, but there you are... I mean, does it? I'm just trying to figure on a motive for that one, you know? I'd think it would be far too risky, in any case.

I will see Jaraface next week! I think. If he wants. w00t! I'm excited cuz I likes driving up and down from theres.

Jara drinky absinthe, Jara fall down!

Brother's Birthday, Fancy Trappist Ale and Debilitating Brain Aneurisms

yeah man! well now, instead of fancy trappist ale, i'm onto cosmopolitans FROM A BOTTLE that my mam bought. We're celebrating kev's birthday thats tomorrow n such... theyre low alcohol and it was socially obligatory so no get mad at caroline because i only had one and i'm proud o' myself for limiting.

so aaaahhh

only 6.9%, baby. thats like.... nothing. and mah dad drank all MY vodka so there.

well and whatever.

moose moose moose!

moosey moose cake! i hate you, north carolina! i cant think of a single thing worth saving there. everytime i hear news from there, its bad. those people always got shit to talk and fuck-all to do. O MIGHTY GOD, PLEASE STRIKE NORTH CAROLINA FROM THE MAP!! LET THERE BE NO SURVIVORS!!

For those that may be offended and yet don't know, most of my stupid immigrant family lives in north carolina and now they are hicks. i will go live with the others even tho they live in the old country and its cold there.

i could get cool coats tho.

i guess i'm gonna go smoke a hookah.

cuz i'm bored.

w00t

You know what? I'm just feeling soooo much shit I don't even know how to get that thing down on paper...

I'm just saying this: foodNetwork is AWESOME.

And ChiliPups are AWESOME. 

And I have BOTH so aaaaahhh being old school wit that shit.

I'm drunk, really.

XD

Drinking in Florence

Going to see Jara tomorrow.

He better not balls it up.

I better not balls it up!! 

Oh gosh, I can't wait to see him and show him my car! Its a convertible! I drive it intoxicated! Drunk driving is fun, guys!

See you in FLORENCE, sober drivers!!

AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

Displayed by Most Suicide Victims

Well, our "serial killer" is dead. He was a lame-ass anyways.

I want that anime girl Rubiks cube that is UNMUSSED oh snap please dont muss it up, man.

Oh gosh!

What a pickle! 

I.... has a confession of some magnitude.

..... Whew... ok, this is tuff....

I... uh... listen to Taylor Swift.

....

I SAID IT!!!!

Don't JUDGE me, you JONAHS!

You need a weed aug. Weed aug?!

C'mon.

moshimoshi w00t daijoba desu-ca? whatevs with your heartcut

WE'RE GROWING APART OMG I'M SADDENED

.....

sigh

From Russia, Without Cash

got an call from my cousin natalya and shes all "come see us!" so i'm all "ok!" but really i dont have enough money to go to russia... if they FRONT me... ok, but i dont think they are.

theyre just tryin to show off their new soviet cars to my old used capitalist car...

listen... i love yall to death, guys and yall family n all but i aint got the funds..

call me.

BIG NUMBER 60, BABY, YEAH!

Ok this is my 60th post, bitches!

I am pleased to report that everything is GREAT right now!

I'm drunk, Jara's my friend and SC has a lame serial killer!

You may have seen him on the news- he's lame and shoots people- but to me he could just be a plain ol' robber that had to kill.

Listen, REAL serial killers kill manually, not with guns. They need to be there to see the light of life leave their victims eyes, to breathe in their last breath and if you're SHOOTING someone THAT DON'T HAPPEN, BABY.

Plus, there's no method to his madness. The best he could be is a spree killer. I mean, damn, even I have guns so that's no big. Besides, he would sooner go to Columbia than come here to Charleston.

I know why he's killing, it's because he's in the no-horse town of Gaffney.

Dammit, I'd kill too!

More to come...

The World Exists on a Turtle's Back

So, Jonathan Greensley, our last kitten, died. Everything sucks ass.

I'm outta alcohol.

Everything sucks.

I just want to get a hug from SOMEONE but there's no one.

Worst. July 4th. Ever.

Except, I'm making black 'n' bleu salads for dinner so that's yummy.....

XD

Gettin drunk, hoes.

Get To Dyson, Son! I mean, Dicin'!

Man, I keep drinkin'! I'm drinkin' right now! Mini bottles on the HOUSE baby, you know. I'm so sad about Michael Jackson... Man I'm sad about Jara not wanting to be my friend last night. That hasn't driven me to drinking tho, because Jara still is my friend. 

I miss you Jara.

I got you a present for being a great friend, even tho you dislike me and think that you're a bad friend.

I will see you in Florence and BOY will you be SURPRISED!!

Mini bottles, mini bottles

YOU SHUT UP OK?!?!

I like that Dr. Phil clip where he says, "Now, that's one skanky-ass crack whore." Aaaaahahahaha! Tell that bitch Dr. Phil!!

OMG we got like 4 pounds of bacon and I LOVE BACON.

I got it at Costco for $8, baby, you better believe it.

BELIEVE IT.

OMG I just read that Obama wants to FINE individuals and families who can't afford insurance $1,000+ if they don't partake in the national health plan!!

WHAT THE FUCK, OBAMA?!?!

I thought you were a man for the people but you're BLEEDING ME DRY, asshole!!!

If I don't have money for insurance what makes you think I have a thousand goddamn dollars with your name on it?!

COME AND GET IT, ASSHOLE, CUZ I GOT SOMETHING FOR YA THAT YOU AINT GONNA LIKE HALF AS WELL AS MONEY- A 5.56 TO THA FUCKING CHEST, BABY!!!!!

JUST TRY TO TAKE A GRAND FROM ME!!

TRY IT, ASS!!

You will be SORRY, I promise you!

I'm just sayin.... TRIPLE EDIT man like don't mix alcohols cuz thats STOOPID DX

Birthday Sess... Or Everyday Sex

Damn, I'm bored.

Someone needs to bother me or something so I'll have something to rant about.

I mean, me and Travis went to get some guitar strings and then we hung out at B&N a little bit and I met ANOTHER hot guy cuz I'm on FIYAH and we watched a load ass of porn and shit...

One thing led to another aaaand.... WOW!

Well.

But now I'm damn well bored and smoking this traitor's hookah and well... I think I will abandon it and go drink because drinking is what makes me happy.

Then I'll drive my little car.

Kids, don't try this at home unless your parents aren't there. ;D

God, I'm becoming an alcoholic.  I always had kind of a high tolerance but.... this is fuckin amazing what I've come up with now. When I'm NOT drinking, I'm irritable!

WTF, vodka?

How you gonna betray me like that?

Go here --> www.fakku.net

It's VERY nsfw, so don't let your mom catch you, baby.

I guess that's all I have for right now... I might come back and blog more when I'm buzzed, so watch out.

eHarmony Got Nothin' On Me

Yessir, I'm the best.

Wanna know why? No? Ok, I'll tell ya: Today, I met the world's hottest guy. Yeah, you can thank me later. ;D

Listen... I'm just real bored and I wanted to write about something awesome that everyone could care about but I can't think of anything... 

Listen... If we go to Miami that would be awesome.

*Bored, bored, bored*

SHARKS!

... Which doesn't even make any sense!

Nope, nothing good today.

I will continue searching.

Roses In Bloom

This has been the worst week I've had in a long time.

You know, I know that most of this bullshit is my fault. When I don't want to know something, why do I ask?

WHY THE DAY BE-FUCKING-FORE, MAN?!?!?!

That, to me, is "You're shit. You are absolutely not special; you are nothing more to me than any other whore off of the street."

I love it.

Please, just someone break into my house and fucking kill me. I can't live anymore and, furthermore, I don't want to.

I'm tired, I'm consumed with something terribly dark and destructive and I just want to feel peace again.

Peace.

Just... a cool, dark, safe peace where I can feel nothing but a serene, quiet content.

I mean, Jara and I are not going out. But I'm saying, Oh yes, I'll make DAMN SURE I fuck this guy before I see you, Jara, because I am nothing to you and therefore... I mean, that's just a little rude, doncha think?

To fuck someone the day before picking me up?

Well, you know what? You could have driven here from California and it wouldn't take away the hurt. 

You. Don't. Care.

And now, I don't care.

I don't care how many hours you've been in the car, how many miles you've driven, how much gas you've wasted, because you'll waste that on anyone. It's not a measure of how much you care. It's a measure of how much you're willing to hurt an innocent person. 

If you read this, I mean, feel free to call me.

But you know what? If you're looking for anything that's not a platonic relationship, drive back to Fayetteville in your car. 

Oh wait.

I messed up. I didn't want to know. Now everything is ruined. I don't wanna live now. WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT?! I just can't imagine why I thought being friends with you was a good idea.... You're a good person, but that doesn't do shit for me. I'll never see the benefit of that. We are holding each other back, I think...

Why is this post so angsty?

Who the fuck cares?

Sharks and Serial Killers- Together at Last

Scientists found that Great White Sharks hunt just like Human Serial Killers!!!

How AWESOME is that?!

They lurk in the dark!

They stalk their prey!

They have a MODUS OPERANDI!!!

Oh em gee this is so cool! Man I always knew Great Whites were the badass motherfuckers of the ocean and I see that I have not been disappointed FOR ONCE!

Oh gosh just GOOGLE that shit and you'll be amazed.

Serial Killers are cool.

Richard Petty Racing Experience- Be the King!™

I got my dad the Rookie Experience at the Richard Petty Racing Experience place. He's going to the Lowe's Motor Speedway to drive EIGHT LAPS in a 600 HORSEPOWER OFFICIAL NASCAR RACE CAR!!!!!!!!

It is the coolest thing I've ever gotten my dad.

I didn't even know such a thing EXISTED.

He gets a RACING SUIT and he gets to wear a HELMET and he gets to DRIVE THE MOTHERFUCKING CAR!!!!! 

.....I hope he doesn't die.

He will be careful, I know.

I visited my brother today and he's doin' pretty good. As good as one can, in prison...

Haha, he's a scary dude if he weren't my brother. XD

Its like a fistful of MOUTHPIE.

I don't know. My brother said it.

Oh gosh you guys should look up 'guy wields dual M249 machine guns' on youtube. I think thats what its called anyways... ITS AWESOME!!!! That video is the best thing I've ever seen IN. MY. LIFE.

I have been compulsively plucking my outbrows out and its hard for me to stop, but theyre growin back now. ^-^ So no worries.

Oh gosh guys!

I am so excited about this coming week! I will learn to drive, call the cops on children, give Dad the present of a lifetime, AND SEE JARA in his natural habitat- Florence. Hey, buddy, Florence ain't all bad, they got a FLEA MARKET! That's great, cuz I'm low on fleas, to be honest.

XD

Sigh...

I see now that my post of last night was, if anything, swamped in a chaotic hatred and sleeplessness and the end result was that a clear thesis failed to make itself present.

SociopathWorld = Full of Shit

That's what I'm trying to say.

Everyone wants, through subconscious need, to think they are sociopathic so as to distinguish themselves from the herd. Everyone wants to feel unique.

Sure, I understand this.

They, on this website, burden their understanding of this malformed personality with the "sheep vs. sociopath" argument, stating that the sheep (empaths) are mindless underachievers and that the sociopaths (sociopaths) are free, all-understanding Boss Matsumoto types who make the world go round.

Now.

The empath will define the sociopath.

The sociopath has nothing in the first place. His greatest victory is the successful mimicry of the empath.

It is an impossibility for the empath to grasp the sociopathic personality and the reverse is also true.

The sociopath is an incomplete personality.

The sociopath, in any case, doesn't feel any need for human connection, therefore why would he go out of his way to prove to everyone that he is a sociopath? Wouldn't that be a helluva lot like... connecting? 

GASP!

I think that these are regular empaths masquerading (poorly) as sociopaths because they want recognition.

Listen, just be yourselves, asses, as much as it pains me to say it, it's prolly better for all.

Because think about it: you're pretending to be an individual pretending to be you. So, in essence, you're pretending to be yourself.

And you didn't get played by a sociopath when you were in college. You're just a moron who got played by an asshole.

Not unique.

This whole this is pretty pathetic, actually.

My mind is pretty chaotic, actually, hard to make a linear thought on paper. Or on blog. Whatever.

You gets it.

SEXY DARK CHOCOLATE ON THE BACKREST

Only 19.95! Try it FREE for 30 Days!!

You won't believe it!

I can give you what you want.

I can make your heart beat short.

Jan. It's a singularly 70s name, cuz like, who would name their kid JANICE right?!

Fuckin' not ME, girl!

Oooo RETURN THE DEVICE, WOMAN!!!

HADAGITBURND?! HADAGITBURND?!

Toast.

How do you find sociopaths on the interwebs? Do they has a club?

I bet they do. But its a really shitty club because everyone only motions for things that will benefit himself exclusively and all the other members vote it down for spite.

Everyone's always vying for control of the club, too, and they're always scheduling outlandish events that get them noticed, but ALL the members try to take credit so they get on TV.

There's a high drop-out rate too, but they always join back because no one in the real world respects their true genius, ya knows?

It's ok to lie to women- they're not people like us!

Ah, I love you, Family Guy!

But still... mini deep-dish pizzas from outer space wearing a snowcap in the acne aisle. Making vodka melons with closed-eye kittens on the wing.

Don't let your hand touch the hot metal thing.

Its... HOT... you know.

OMG I hate that damn FG episode where stewie and lois fight like ENDLESSLY. It was the lamest episode.

Ah, yes, I've found it. Its called SociopathWorld and it is inherently full of shit, I think. There are bona fide "comments" from 100% real-life Sociopaths (I am just so sure!) that spout off textbook analyses of their characters like they had no idea how to describe themselves without having first read a book on the subject.

I pity them, really, because they either are pretending to be socio or really are socio but are so uncreative and narrow-minded that they have absorbed their entire understanding of their personalities from medical journals and psych 101 books.

Furthermore, I find it odd that they are so very... eager to tell everyone on the planet how abnormal they are. I would never and have never revealed my deepest self to anyone, and I'm a normal personality! I can't imagine that someone so aware of his obvious social malady would go around telling everyone and his brother about it.

Listen, I think they're fake. 

Ratings ratings ratings!!

PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!

Ooooh, oooo, hey world, I can't feel ANYTHING for ANY OF YOU! Am I fascinating or what?! Come hither, simple minded cretins, and shower me with your affection and attention! Elevate me above your own pathetic lives!

OK SURE, ASSHOLE!!! YOU KNOW WHAT?! I FEEL SOMETHING- HATRED!!!!

SHUT!!

THE!!

FUCK!!

UP!!!

READ THE SHIT AND WEEP!! Like I give a FUCK what some soulless asshole has to say about HIMSELF. If you can't do anything for ME, if you can't talk about ME, then I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!!! Cuz its like this: I'm better than any Sociopath. They think they're so fucking above everyone else because they're undeveloped emotionally.

See, I'm just an asshole.

That makes me better and different.

This was a long-ass rant.

Whew.

Diabetes Testin' Supplies

I just watched this commercial for Gracie Combatives, and it was very action packed and inspiring. I thought, hey, if I had the will to call for those 13 DVDs for only $9.95, I could learn martial arts from some brothers. Listen, sometimes you don't pick the fight, the fight picks you and you better be ready. That's what the Gracie Bros. said.

I don't know.

I mean, I used to think Martial Arts was really cool, but not so much anymore. It's so weird, if I even meet people who do martial arts, I like them less because of it. I feel as tho I must immediately extricate myself from their company.

I guess except for Jara, who is only half in that category anyways.

With his "killer" sensei and all...

Whatever, man, I hate TRYING TO WATCH TV WHILE SOMEONE IS CONSTANTLY TALKING OVER IT!!!

OMG KEV SHUT UP!!!

Listen, I'm bored now.

I like hookahs.

I have a Mya right now and Mya is tha BOMB (gettin' old school wit it).

I want another hookah and some damn coals and Romman shisha. Cept I'm about to say fuck it to hookahs, man, because no one likes to smoke that shit with me. Great. I get to smoke it by myself, thats really fabulous.

A-fucking-mazing, jack.

Whatever. I don't have the money for such a useless pastime ANYWAYS so fuck it.

I'll just throw the one I have away man, this shit is so stupid.

A Brewtus of Butane DOES A BODY GOOD

If a body see a body

Comin' through the rye,

Could a body catch a body

If a body try?

So I had a pretty good day thus far...

I'm crowin' it, if you must know.

That's right; I bought a BUNDY BRAND® High Impact Quality™ Crowbar. It's pretty friggen sweet, if ya ask me. Twenty-four inches of solid, head-crushing steel.

That's what she said!! ShaaaaWING!!

Ok.

I mean, it's tried n true since 1970, so it's gotta be good!

I caught a horseshoe crab. They're living fossils, you know. They're shell covered water spiders. They have blue blood caused by the hemocyanin (here's lookin' at you, jara!) and they have SPIDER LEGS.

Picture a giant, hairless tarantula in a hand-crafted tank.

Horseshoe crab WIN!

:D

Nikolai the King Fish still lives. He is, apparently, very hardy.

God, I can't do this anymore.

I don't know.

Must... get.. CAR...!!

Does this mean that I'm not alone...?

I'm drinkin out of that BREWTUS glass that A CERTAIN BODY got ("got" here meaning "stole") from Applebee's. Dude, I could really go for some Applebee's right now, now that I thinks of it. I hongry.

I's a hongry hongry honky, yassir.

I'm bored but I think I'll logotize my crowbar... with a logo... >_O

We've got the thunders here! Such thunder, rain and lightning! 

Joy of joys!!

Fuck Them CSI Shows, Man

Man, a kitten died in my hands today.

I've been up for two days straight now.

I'm hungry, but I feel sick.

I'm bored as shit.

I'm lonely.

I'm whiny.

I'm in kind of a bad mood and Travis ran out of minutes and calls me from like 7 different numbers and I can't call him back because I don't know which number to dial.

My brain is numb.

My brain is also having all this little shocky/ burny type feelings in it.

I wanna fucking do something.

I'm getting extremely annoyed with everyone and everything, especially this CSI:NY that I'm watching because they always end the same. Street-smart, tough-as-nails detectives find magic, perfectly preserved and 100% condemning evidence at every crime scene. They then form a highly improbable opinion on who the suspect is and proceed to find more magic evidence to support that theory. They bring the guy in and use coercion to try and get him to confess, only to at that moment be handed evidence that negates his involvement. They find just enough evidence to bring the real guy in, coerce the truth from him and everyone goes home happy.

Except me.

Cuz that's not how it is in real life forensic pathology.

You don't find what you need. You can't bounce your theory off of the suspect until he confesses.

You look at the evidence and you can't mold it to fit a profile.

Evidence first, profiling later.

I don't even bother with CSI Miami. Its twisted, convoluted and absurd.

CSI is great, but still has very little real world relevance or basis. Man, I'm tellin' you that you almost never find what you need. You just gotta work with what you find.

I guess that'd make a boring show.

Or something.

CHARLES MANSON

GUESS WHO'S NOT A SERIAL KILLER?!

CHARLES MANSON!!!

He's NEVER killed even a SINGLE person, so how can he be a SERIAL KILLER?!

Oh wait- I know!!

Cuz everyone is stupid and just feels like labeling this psycho as a serial killer when really he's JUST A LUNATIC. Just your GARDEN-ASS-VARIETY lunatic.

Charles Manson, I hate you because YOU ARE LAME AND PATHETIC and you have NEVER KILLED ANYONE.

On that note, Manson is a really really great manipulator, but manipulation does not a serial killer make, else I am in some trouble.

I just get so frustrated when I see all these serial killer videos with ACTUAL serial killers in them and then for some motherfuckin reason theres Little Charlie Manson, who's never killed anyone, thrown right in the mix just because he's a crazy, wild-haired lunatic.

Wtf, mate?

Iunno but I has kittens and they are trés adorable!

w00t!

*Edited For More TedTalk*

Now listen. I've been reading a lot about Ted Bundy's trials and I'm just sayin' that it seems like there was a lil racialistic injustery there.

Well, no, but I just don't see how they could have convicted the man on the evidence that they had there.... I mean, I know he done it and the jury obviously sensed the HorrorSickness in the man, but really...

I'm just noticing that a lot of the stuff used to convict the dude was very, ah, circumstantial.

I would've hated to be convicted with such evidence.

Just think about it tho: Ted left NO hard evidence.

NOTHING.

No fingerprints, no hairs, no blood....

The man was a pro, I'll give him that.

Like if he hadn't given this unequivocal confession, I would be hard pressed to believe he had done the stuff.

The thing that bothers me is the stupid eyewitnesses. They seemed to just point Ted out in court even when they had previously, in line-ups containing Ted, picked other individuals. That really makes me wonder if they had seen anything at all, or if they were just trying to be helpful.

Seems to me that eyewitness accounts are at best fallible and at worst outright lies and make-believe.

I would've been so mad if I had to sit through that, man.

So mad.

It's just weird that the jury knew he was guilty just by seeing him in court. It's cuz the Mask of Sanity was gone, I bet.

Yeah.

Ha, serial killers! You prey on us, but we can sense you! We have mystical, deep-rooted powers and understanding that you will never comprehend! 

It's like magic!