Like.... No one reads my blog.
I think this is because I have nothing to say. Or perhaps I am mean. Or perhaps all I talk about sensibly is serial killers and their goings-on.
Well, good news!
That's not about to change.
Listen, Tehran-- I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF YOU'RE RIOTING. STFU!
And hey, New York-- NO ONE LOVES YOU. LEAST OF ALL ME. STFU! (WITH YOUR SHIRTS!)
And oh, wait, Savannah, Georgia? YOU ARE THE MOST AWFUL TOWN I'VE EVER LIVED IN. PLEASE DO US ALL A FAVOR AND ERADICATE YOUR HOMELESS PEOPLE. I HATE TO LOOK AT THEM OR HAVE TO INTERACT WITH THEM. THEY ARE PUTRID AND YOU ARE THE RETARDED, POINTLESS SISTER OF CHARLESTON. PLEASE DIE.
Kinkajous want some? PLEASE DIE.
Alcoholics Anonymous wants some? GO TO HELL YOU SPINELESS BASTARDS.
KOSS headphones company? WHY DON'T YOU ANSWER YOUR GODDAMN PHONES, YOU FUCKING MORONS?!?!
Professor Mosch? I HATE PAINTING. LET ME DRAW, WOMAN!!!
My stupid sister? GET MARRIED ALREADY, YOU STUPID SLAG!!!! I AM TIRED OF WAITING TO UPSTAGE YOU AT YOUR WEDDING!! THERE MUST BE BOATS.
Homeless people? FUCKING DIE. OR GET A JOB.
The company that makes Столичная? GIVE ME FREE VODKA. WILL DRINK FOR FREE.
Red Bull? STFU!
That new tooth in the back of my mouth? STFU!
Omg I want to box something right now. I have no money. I have no patience. I have a ton of work to do and not enough time to do it. Whatever. Don't read. I hate you anyways.
But not if you're reading this. Then I like you.
^-^
♥♡♥
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